This last weekend saw 4 Viceroys head off bright eyed and bushy tailed to race in the Charlotteville CC 50 mile TT. For Kim Bainbridge and myself this was our first TT race, Clarkie and Charlotte Saunders were thus comparative veterans.

It’s apparently said that a 50 mile TT is the sort of thing that many cyclists build up to over a few years of TT racing. Why nobody mentioned this until after we’d all finished remains a mystery.

The event was based in the pretty Hampshire village of Bentley with race HQ in the picturesque and somewhat traditional local village hall. The village can be found just off the A31 about 5 miles Southwest of Farnham and nestles in a small shallow valley through which flows the River Wey. A handy hint at this point : the lights in the gents loo are motion controlled but the controller can’t see you when you’re “seated” (if you get my drift). Take a torch would be my advice (and bitter experience). But enough of the tourist information already.

The advance party (me, Kim and Charlotte) rocked up nice and early – we all hate last minute faff much more than we hate getting up at stupid-o-clock. Mr Alan Clark, well known of these parts, took an alternative approach and was seen heading to the start with almost minutes to spare…

The race (now we’re talking) took part on the not-so-pretty A31 dual carriageway starting heading South from a layby.

If anyone didn’t notice : IT WAS MONSTROUSLY WINDY ON SUNDAY. I think the organisers have since described it as “a full headwind going South with a sheltered tailwind going North”. In my language this equates to “Hard South, not as easy as it should have been North”. Typical.

It was also bloomin cold resulting in less than “slippery” clothing for many competitors. Being from Yorkshire I was particularly offended at having to put on an extra shirt.

For Kim and me the start was a new experience – trusting a stranger who has his hand somewhere round your backside to hold you upright was certainly new. In the end it was all good and incident free.

“3-2-1-Go” and powering away from the start line. Yep, it’s certainly windy. I wonder if it’ll be a problem?

The laps can be pretty much summarised as:

1  – Only 16 mph? Really?? Yay I passed someone, possibly my grandfather.
– 30mph+!!, growing realisation that we’re heading south again though.
2  – OMG : Erm this is really really hard. And it’s starting to hurt in the places that provide drive and that I sit on. How the heck is he going past me like that?
– Agony and speed followed by despair at the thought of heading south again.
3  – Pain beyond anything I can ever recollect in return for blowing away snails travelling in the relative shade of the kerb.
– Make it stop. Please. Possibly even some tears.

The finish line was merely the physical point at which I slowed down. The pain managed to continue to grow and to add insult to injury race HQ was back South into the headwind and up what felt like Staple Lane but was in reality just the slip road off the A31 into Bentley.

Arriving back at race HQ I was reassured to see that John Wayne impersonators were everywhere so I fitted right in. Tea was provided and cakes were available and my slice of sponge was delicious.

The results were:

Clarkie de Viceroy – 2:03:12 (Ooosh)
John de Viceroy – 2:22:10 (Big girl’s blouse)
Charlotte de Viceroy – 2:29:ish (And most certainly NOT a DNF as claimed on the results sheet)
Kimberley de Viceroy – 2:45:56 (There may have been a navigation error here. Again. Possibly. But don’t mention it.)

In summary – I reckon this could be a really fun event and for the entry fee (£7.50 I think) you can’t really go wrong. And it can’t be that windy every year. Can it? As a first TT – perhaps not the best idea ever 🙂

As raced and reported by John Kellett