100 miles? No problem. After all, Viceroys have done the Surrey 100 in Hurricane Bertha. Right? 6400ft. That’s 9 times up Box Hill! Our hardy Viceroys trio tackled Kent Surrey Sussex Air Ambulance charity bike ride and encountered hills, a man hole and even a real ambulance…

Kevin Dargue was the first to arrive at Redhill out of the Viceroy Trio made up of Kevin, Andrea Whelband and Simon Tack. Whilst the latter two were busy getting dressed and assembling bikes, Kevin set of with an earlier group of riders who looked as though, ‘they knew what they were doing and where they were going.’

Kevin continues: ‘After 30 minutes two had disappeared at break neck speed, a few more stopped to adjust something or fiddle with GPS’s and the final group stopped for a loo break! So on my own I tried to navigate Surrey, Kent and Sussex. On the way some of the yellow signs with black arrows had been removed or turned round. This twinned with the fact I was reading the map going anticlockwise when in fact the route was clockwise meant it was only a matter of time before I was well and truly lost.

Eventually back on track, caught and passed an earlier group and then……..got lost again. After a few miles I came across a Rest/Food stop and they kindly told me I was going in the wrong direction! At one point I even ended up on the same road as the Hever Castle cyclists who were also following yellow signs with black arrows! As there were two 100km loops as well which formed a figure of 8, every now and again you would see a random, solo cyclist with a KSS jersey going off in a different direction.

Talk about mind games. Do you follow the cyclist who could be lost or following one of the 100km loops or the signs that could be pointing in the wrong direction? Simon decided to do one of the 100km loops. The loop he chose was the one with all the hills. Brave choice Simon and well done. I arrived at Marden, half way, just as Andrea was leaving. How did that happen? We also met up again at the 3/4 point. Half way and not feeling too bad and then the hills! 6000ft of hills. They were hard and seriously energy sapping. Apparently the organisers decided last year was too soft so changed the route to make it more of a challenge. By the last 20km it was snail pace and every minute hole or bump was sending shots of pain through the legs and up the back. I couldn’t even enjoy what few downhill bits there were.

At long last the final, flat 5km. Finally crossed the line in just over 8 hours. And Andrea? Andrea took a tumble a few km from the end. Hit a manhole cover at speed and took off. Fortunately she had been cycling with someone who got her an ambulance pronto and off to A&E. Thankfully no broken bones but bad road rash, cut, bruising and painful ribs. She was given the all clear and allowed home. I usually have a good idea about distance. I certainly have 750m and 5km sorted but 6400ft of incline did not register. That is the same as cycling up Helvelyn, twice! So it was just a typical Viceroy day out in the country!’

Pete Kelsey took part in the Surrey Legs of Steel Long Course sportive on Saturday:

This  local Sportive starts and ends at the top of Box Hill, so if nothing else it is a good spot for a well-earned post-ride coffee.

Circa 650 riders took part over the short (46k) and long (81k) course, which are both ‘hilly’ – the short takes in 1,020 metres of climbing and the long 1,600 metres. Legs of Steel’s long course includes 8 hills that most Viceroys will know well: Ranmore, Leith, Holmbury, Winterfold, St Martha’s, Coombe Lane, Crocknorth and finally Box Hill. It is a lovely route and the event is very well run by Full On Tri with proper timing chips, 2 feed stations and simple but effective signs.

Winterfold (aka Barr Hatch) is a lung-buster at 21%, by far the toughest climb on the ride.

Last year I had a DNF in this event from a broken rear mech hanger, which at least led me to realise that my bike has one of those, even if I had no way of fixing it at the bottom of Holmbury Hill. (in other words, Phil Walker wasn’t there to help – I won’t kid myself about being able to do anything mechanical). This year the bike was well-serviced (by Phil), lesson learned.

The ideal pre-race carb loading and early night was however in tatters as Margot & I joined Viceroy Founder Gary Brine & his wife Lisa at Kate Bush’s final concert. After that was delayed by 1 hr 30 due to power failure I rolled into bed at just before 2 am having ‘loaded up’ on kettle chips and popcorn for my 6 am alarm.

In no time the alarm sounded, it seemed like only minutes after my head hit the pillow, and I was feeling decidedly Babushka Ya Ya.

The event’s gold times are achievable and for my aged 50+ group the target time was 3.25. I however had a harder target in mind as I was trying to drag a work colleague round in sub 3 hours to hit his 18-39 category, which we did, just, in 2.57. No major mishaps except a 5 minute delay at Chilworth’s railway level crossing for a toy town train to roll through very slowly with nobody on it. In the end I was 5 minutes behind the winner in my ‘veteran’ age group, and 5^th in the over 50’s a much better result than last year, but I must time the level crossing better in future!

Overall I recommend the event to any Viceroys out there who enjoy hilly rides, and it was something to celebrate later that night at Chairman Yeo’s 40^th fancy dress party!’

As Viceroys gathered at Thorpe Park for their annual Club Championships, even the marshalls commented on the contrast in atmosphere to a normal calm and serious tri as the banter began as soon as they were together, with searching questions such, ‘What does Lisa’s hat look like?!’ and ‘WHERE’S THEO?’ But as soon as the whistle went, friendships were put aside and the race was on.

Chairman and AG World Champion Yeoman, as expected, broke away on the swim – but perhaps less predicatable – Matt Storr stayed with him for the full 750m, their swim times a staggering 10.30 and 10.31. Mark went on to claim the title of Club Champion (again) and Matt achieved the accolade of 8th in his AG.

Further back on the swim course Jon and Andrea (who have both developed the ‘zig zag’ style of swimming) swam at the same pace, bouncing off and in to each other for 750m. Paul Mayer peaked during the first 200m of his swim but had a fantastic T1 of 45 seconds and a run PB of 22.32. Simon Tack raced a course PB by 2 minutes 30, recovering from a difficult swim, which not getting his wet suit done up properly meant he felt like he was being strangled after 200m – or is this just a chivalrous excuse for coming out of the water about 3 secoonds behind Lara, who admittedly he would really like to have beaten.

As Viceroys moved from the swim to T1, many started to question the accuracy of the timing systems with many superhuman T1 times, Simon Tack’s recorded T1? 18 seconds! ‘It was a farce. I put my helmet and shades on and started to get on the bike and realised I hadn’t taken my wet suit off.’

As if being chicked by Lara in the swim wasn’t enough, about 7k in to the bike route, Colette overtook Simon – although he did claw his way back again!

Julian did a PB on the run – 21:22 and ‘I even ran with the chairman for a bit (about 50 yards but he was a lap ahead of me)’. Andrew Moody racked up a course PB, knocking a staggering 5 minutes off last year’s time – a fantastic debut as a newby Viceroy. Mick Tumilty clocked a course PB and a 5k PB, as did Andrew Hedges, with a sprint PB of 1.13.54 and a 5k PB of 19.36. Caroline MacKinnon claimed a PB by 3 minutes

But these were not the end of Viceroys’ achievements for the day: Mark Yeoman was 1st Viceroy home, 1st in AG and 2nd overall; Scott Forsyth was 2nd Viceroy home, 1st vet Viceroy, 3rd in AG and 4th overall; Andy Tugwell was 3rd Viceroy home and 3rd in his AG. Colette Kitterhing was 1st Viceroy home for the ladies and 1st in her AG; Lara Clay ws 2nd Viceroy lady and 3rd in her AG; Suzy Blandford was 3rd Viceroy lady and 1st in her AG; Lisa Yeoman was 1st Viceroy vet and 10th in her AG.

Viceroys dominated the 40-49 AG category, with 5 of the top 10 places going to our boys (Yeoman, Forsyth, Hinsley, Essex, Cosgrove). James Turner (6), Kevin Dargue (7) and John Kellet (9) also walked away with top 10 places in their AG categories. Our ladies too smashed their AG categories (Colette and Suzy 1st, Debbie 2nd, Lara 3rd, Caroline 5th) making us all proud to have been part of a great morning at Thorpe Park.

‘Last Sunday – alarm goes off at 4.30am. Reluctantly I get out of bed. I need to be at Dorney Lake by 6am for a 7am race start…I’m not sure I can be bothered. I’ve been suffering with a cold for the last 2 weeks: sore heads, cough, aches and pains (oh yes, dreaded manful) and as a result I’ve hardly trained….

Anyway – mentally I have already decided – I’ve paid my entrance fee so I’m going. Go; do the swim and see how I feel. If I feel bad on the bike or the run just pull out. I’ve already achieved my season goal of a sub 5hr middle distance so this event is just a bonus anyway. As a result, this is the calmest I’ve ever been before a race: relaxed in setting up my kit in transition, standing around drinking coffee, chilling at the start. I’m not sure if this is good or bad…

Okay time to get in to the water – relieved that even though it is cold standing around, the water must still be around 20 degrees. There’s probably 100 people in my wave – Dorney Lake is so vast that there’s plenty of space and I go straight to the front. Gun goes and off we charge  to the first set of buoys…other than that I have a forgettable swim. I don’t think I got a single draft on the swim: there seemed to be a group in front I couldn’t ever quite reach and nobody around or behind me. So I swim 1.9km on my own only catching a couple of guys at the end as they hadn’t bothered to sight the swim exit properly. I looked at my watch – 37 mins for the swim – what the hell? That’s terrible – I must be so far behind…but there’s still a lot of bikes in transition. Oh well, erase it from the memory – quick transition and off on the bike.

The bike course is a horseshoe shaped course of 10 laps – that means we’ve got lots of dead turns. Off I set – careful – just maintain a steady pace and don’t shoot off too quick and then bonk later. Nice smooth tarmac and pancake flat – the first few laps pass without incident as hardly any bikes on the course – averaging about 36km/hr per lap. That’ll do nicely. BUT – those who’ve raced at Dorney will be familiar with the dreaded wind. Lap 3 the wind starts to pick up – suddenly, for half the lap, I’m struggling to maintain momentum into the wind then, I’m cruising for the other half with the wind behind. But this is starting to hurt. I pass an ambulance on the course – a guy lying at the side of the course with his face covered in blood. Someone shouts as I pass that a barrier had blown over in front of him…not good – that puts me on edge a little. 60 km gone and I’m still feeling okay and the time looks respectable – but soon after the pain starts…I can barely turn the cranks over into the wind and can’t generate enough power in the tuck position. On the down- wind section I’m really having to push it to try and maintain a decent average speed. Finally, the end of the last lap is approaching and my feet are out the shoes and I’ve done a decent flying dismount. 2hrs 47 mins – slower than I wanted, but at least the pain is over.

A pretty fast T2 – 1 min – and I’m off on the run. Jeez my legs are hurting…I think I’m barely moving and there are so few people on the run course yet I haven’t got anyone to chase down. Mantra – maintain form and just think in the moment…man, my lower back and right leg are really hurting. Please, don’t give out on me…I’ve long since discarded the thought of pulling out. Just keep plodding – finally, I spot some runners on the course. Are they doing the middle distance or the sprint? Who knows or cares, just chase them down and pass them…stop at the feed stations and get some coke/banana down…not nice but at least it’s not a gel. Each lap seems to go slower and at the end of each one I can’t believe I’ve got to run it again…eventually, I can see the boathouse at Dorney and I know it’s my last lap…there;s a guy in front who is barely running now. He’s been way ahead of me all race – that’s my target – give it everything to pass home before the line. He eventually starts walking about 500m before the finish – my signal to floor it to the line. I cross the finish line – 1 hr 35 mins run, again slower than I wanted but I really could not have given any more today.

Off to the results screen and I type in my race number – 7 – bollocks…5hrs 3 mins. How could I have missed the 5 hr mark??? Initially I’m deeply frustrated, but then I look at my position: 9^th overall and 1^st in Age Group. A certain satisfaction there takes the edge of the disappointment of the time.

So – with aching calves and numb glutes (!) I console myself that this season’s triathlon efforts are over and it’s time for a pint and a pizza and a week or two off before next seasons training starts in earnest!’