With the words of Chairman Yeo (“Smash it”) ringing in my ears, I promptly began the evening by destroying all records for getting to the event early with a splendid T-2 hours arrival at Dorney Lake – a venue so local i probably could have walked there in that time.

Managing to squeeze my steed into the swathes of empty racking I embarked upon the longest warm up I’d ever done before chatting amiably to my fellow wave1-ers  who tried ever so nicely to get rid of me as they were desperately trying to shoe horn themselves into unlubed wetsuits 2 minutes before the race briefing began.

The swim commenced with a 250m warm up to the start line including another first for me – swimming under a bridge – before the washing machine began with a loud blast on the starter’s horn. I managed to get onto a mid-paced (fast for me !) swimmer’s feet and proceeded to use him to drag me round a decent proportion of the 750m, all the while trying to benefit from all of my winter programme and lake sessions tips, techniques and Yeoman-based fisting drills (insert own joke at leisure) – eventually exiting the water in 14:51.

A geologically timed T1 and I was out on the bike, clipped in and trying to catch number 96 who it turned out would be my nemesis/best friend for the entire 20k as we chopped and changed positions a number of times, acting as each other’s Cat and Mouse on the fast and flat course. Definitely no drafting though – that would have been against the rules……  I headed back into transition in 35:35 and a decidedly average 44 second T2 saw me heading for the run exit…. which is where I discovered I had left my legs in my cycling shoes and there was nothing connecting my body to my trainers! (What do you mean I should have done more than one brick session ?!) It took a kilometre or so of slow plodding (number 96 was long gone by this stage) before I found my legs again, although by this stage I had been passed by more than a few other runners not to mention a couple of hedgehogs and an asthmatic snail who’d lost his Ventolin. Telling my new found legs to shut up, I ploughed on and eventually, after the most negative of splits, stumbled over the line for my very first sub 1:20 sprint tri (1:19:23)

In fact it was my first sub 1:28 – a full 9 ½ minutes off my PB from last year – which I was absolutely ecstatic about and led to some slightly over-exuberant Facebook postings for which I can only apologise.

As raced and reported by Ian Talbot